VBA2C

I'm not shy about the fact that I hate that I've had c-sections.  I went into my first c-section in 2010 assuming that I didn't have a choice.  I had a laproscopic myomectomy in November 1997.  Because I hadn't requested my record or had children in the 10 years after my procedure, they were routinely discarded by the doctors office.  I did however have a VHS video of my procedure (which I converted to DVD and Youtube), but my OB/GYN wasn't interested in looking at it and we discussed nothing except for a scheduled c-section.  The second c-section was in 2013 because when I brought up the idea of a VBAC they scared me with uterine rupture horror stories and statistics that were more severe than my research indicates.

So, I went in to my c-section in June 2010 unprepared for what it would mean for taking care of my newborn, recovery, possible complications, and its impact on my future pregnancies and births.

I delivered b1 at NYU Medical Center in NYC, and overall I was happy with the level of care I received there.  My veins collapsed when a resident was putting in my IV and I passed out, so they immediately sent in their supervising doctor who quickly and easily put in my IV while also putting me at ease.  The beginning of my procedure was routine.  My epidural was started with no issues, the surgery started with the doctors, nurses, and other support staff listening to the world cup in the background (note: this is a good reason to come prepared to your birth with music or directions for what will be playing in the background while your baby is being born).  I thought the procedure went fine, but didn't understand why it was taking so long for them to bring b1 to me after she was born.  Unfortunately, during the c-section her face was cut with a scalpel, so they had to tend to that before she was brought to me.  

Luckily the laceration didn't hit anything vital on her face, this happened at NYU.  The head of plastic surgery quickly came to our recovery room, discussed our options with us, and b1 received plastic surgery on the cut within 90 minutes of being born.

Even though b1 had no difficulty nursing, it was very painful to hold her while nursing, and to find a comfortable and effective nursing position.  Then, not too long after going home my c-section incision opened up again and got infected, which required trips to NYC from NJ to get tended to. Overall, NOT FUN.  

As an active person who wants to interact with my children, the recovery process is brutal.  I don't want to be afraid of my children hurting me after giving birth.  I want to be able to play with them, and read to them, without being in horrible pain.  I don't want to be on pain medications for weeks following the birth.  I want to be able to go for walks outside if and when I want to.  I just want to be able to enjoy the days after my child's birth.  To bond, and revel in their existence without having to recover from major abdominal surgery.  

Finally, I still find it surprising by how many people that didn't recognize that a c-section is major abdominal surgery and realize how long and hard it is to be "back to normal".  

All that just to say I really hate c-sections and the recovery.  I really don't want to have another one. 

A lot of people won't understand this, and will think I'm crazy for trying to have a VBAC, but I know this is what I want.  If I need to have another c-section, so be it.  But I want to at least TRY!